mary louisa elizabeth johnson

it’s all i’ve been thinking and talking about since i heard and i wanna write it down cause its taking up a lot of my brain. i just think it’s upsetting to think how sad Tom Gabel must have been for pretty much his whole Against Me! career before making his decision to become a woman public. To think he’s the front of a pretty masculine band, using vocals like he does and it must have been all he thought about. Even when he told the journalist, his band members didn’t know. 

I’ve always been skeptical about disorders like ‘gender dysphoria’ - I always thought it was a case of someone being sad in their life and thinking ‘well, i’m sad like this, might as well try being the opposite sex and see how its pans out then’. I thought people did it for the wrong reasons. i watched some programme last year where a load of transsexuals lived together and discussed what they were doing and why.. and a lot of them were just dead sad human beings who thought their life would turn around if they were the opposite sex. Nothing to do with genuinely wanting to be or live as the opposite sex, just a factor of themselves they thought they could change. They thought that if they were the opposite sex, their life would be better.

But with Tom Gabel, his life would be so much harder if he became a woman. He has a wife and two children, he’s famous as a growly singer of a punk-rock band whose fans may turn their back on him if he ever made his thoughts public. But the fact he did make it public shows that his life was actually worse whilst he was a man, even with all the fame and his family etc.. he was significantly sadder as a man than he knew he would be as a woman.

and i was unsure why i was so upset by his situation. He’s finally said what he wants to do and his doing it, surely its a great situation, but it’s kind of like Tom Gabel is committing suicide. he’s made a decision because he was so unbelievably sad about it all… he’s making a change but getting rid of who he is.

blah. unfinished and averagely written but  cant properly capture what iv been thinking enough to write it down properly. omg it’s so long

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